(D1, LN, Nightmare) Drowning in the Past
Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2023 12:44 am
Yukara was on the bridge again.
She felt the clammy air creeping over her skin as she ran, struggling over the spongy and half-rotted boards, feeling her ankle twist as she stumbled. She had been here so many times. She felt the weakness in her body of her younger self - untrained. Unprepared for the uncaring world.
Rough hands caught her arm, caught her shoulder - pulled her around. She saw again that face... all shadow and harsh edges, backlit by a burning village and the cries of the innocent. It leered at her, more beast than man. The same leer it always had - it made her skin crawl the same every time. Struggling, screaming, she flailed away, breaking that grip for a moment. It was only a moment, and then the hands caught her again and she was tripping over her sandals, smashing into the railing and feeling it give way in a crash of rotten wood.
The world turned upside down and she fell with the leering man, now screaming in anger and fear. Into cold waters. The world dissolved into noise and confusion, the iron grip of the freezing water crushing the air from her lungs as she fought against the rushing current, struggling for earth beneath her feet, a grip on something solid.... for air. For anything.
One grasping hand finally found something solid, and she latched onto it desperately, pulling herself up. The man was her raft as she climbed toward air, toward life. He struggled, and they twisted in the flow, locked in a macabre dance - the fumbling desperation of a lover in the dark, but this was a morbid contest for air. Suddenly, they struck a stone in the rapids - the man cushioning the impact for her. His body went limp, and she found the surface, taking a strangled breath.
Life.
Then she was pulled under again and the world dissolved back into noise and violence, all sense of up or down lost in the mayhem. Without any sense of what she was reaching for, she stretched out her hands, lungs burning, and one of them found something. A log. Something to hold, and she clung to it with every fiber of her being.
Hauling herself up, she even got half of her body above the water line, shivering uncontrollably and wracked with sobs of terror and adrenaline, she heard the rushing roar of rapids behind her, of more ahead.
And then the dream... rippled. The log was not a log any longer - it was a body. It was the man, grabbing hold of her, wrapping cold fingers around her throat, empty, lifeless eyes staring as she was suddenly ripped down into the depths. Endless depths, with nothing but darkness as far as the eye could see.
This was when she should wake, finally be free of the nightmare she had suffered so many nights.
Tonight, she didn't wake, but slammed onto hard wood boards, gasping at the shock.
She was alone, on a dark pier. Around her were shadowy forms, distorted images of a village, people going about their business as if viewed through a rippling pond. She couldn't make out their faces, couldn't hear what they were saying.
This unknown was suddenly more terrifying than anything that had come before. Struggling to her feet, she tried to call out, but her voice cracked, no words escaping. In confusion, she stared down at herself, realizing she was still deep under the water, yet somehow she could no longer feel the need to breathe. Instead she saw trails of blood floating away behind her... her hands were covered. They weren't coming clean, but they left a hazy trail behind her, as if giving silent warning to all who saw her.
Reaching toward one of the distorted figures, she felt her heart lurch as it recoiled, turning and hurrying away. Then another did. She ran through that village, she did not know how long, trying to call out, trying to reach out... until her legs ached and her lungs burned.
She was alone. No one would look at her, would stand to be near her. She was alone here. Forever.
For the first time in the dream, Yukara felt tears welling in her eyes as she staggered to a stop, alone in the darkness, and then sank down to her knees, gazing helplessly at the distant figures, hurrying away into the darkness.
Then there was silence, and she buried her face in bloody hands.
She felt the clammy air creeping over her skin as she ran, struggling over the spongy and half-rotted boards, feeling her ankle twist as she stumbled. She had been here so many times. She felt the weakness in her body of her younger self - untrained. Unprepared for the uncaring world.
Rough hands caught her arm, caught her shoulder - pulled her around. She saw again that face... all shadow and harsh edges, backlit by a burning village and the cries of the innocent. It leered at her, more beast than man. The same leer it always had - it made her skin crawl the same every time. Struggling, screaming, she flailed away, breaking that grip for a moment. It was only a moment, and then the hands caught her again and she was tripping over her sandals, smashing into the railing and feeling it give way in a crash of rotten wood.
The world turned upside down and she fell with the leering man, now screaming in anger and fear. Into cold waters. The world dissolved into noise and confusion, the iron grip of the freezing water crushing the air from her lungs as she fought against the rushing current, struggling for earth beneath her feet, a grip on something solid.... for air. For anything.
One grasping hand finally found something solid, and she latched onto it desperately, pulling herself up. The man was her raft as she climbed toward air, toward life. He struggled, and they twisted in the flow, locked in a macabre dance - the fumbling desperation of a lover in the dark, but this was a morbid contest for air. Suddenly, they struck a stone in the rapids - the man cushioning the impact for her. His body went limp, and she found the surface, taking a strangled breath.
Life.
Then she was pulled under again and the world dissolved back into noise and violence, all sense of up or down lost in the mayhem. Without any sense of what she was reaching for, she stretched out her hands, lungs burning, and one of them found something. A log. Something to hold, and she clung to it with every fiber of her being.
Hauling herself up, she even got half of her body above the water line, shivering uncontrollably and wracked with sobs of terror and adrenaline, she heard the rushing roar of rapids behind her, of more ahead.
And then the dream... rippled. The log was not a log any longer - it was a body. It was the man, grabbing hold of her, wrapping cold fingers around her throat, empty, lifeless eyes staring as she was suddenly ripped down into the depths. Endless depths, with nothing but darkness as far as the eye could see.
This was when she should wake, finally be free of the nightmare she had suffered so many nights.
Tonight, she didn't wake, but slammed onto hard wood boards, gasping at the shock.
She was alone, on a dark pier. Around her were shadowy forms, distorted images of a village, people going about their business as if viewed through a rippling pond. She couldn't make out their faces, couldn't hear what they were saying.
This unknown was suddenly more terrifying than anything that had come before. Struggling to her feet, she tried to call out, but her voice cracked, no words escaping. In confusion, she stared down at herself, realizing she was still deep under the water, yet somehow she could no longer feel the need to breathe. Instead she saw trails of blood floating away behind her... her hands were covered. They weren't coming clean, but they left a hazy trail behind her, as if giving silent warning to all who saw her.
Reaching toward one of the distorted figures, she felt her heart lurch as it recoiled, turning and hurrying away. Then another did. She ran through that village, she did not know how long, trying to call out, trying to reach out... until her legs ached and her lungs burned.
She was alone. No one would look at her, would stand to be near her. She was alone here. Forever.
For the first time in the dream, Yukara felt tears welling in her eyes as she staggered to a stop, alone in the darkness, and then sank down to her knees, gazing helplessly at the distant figures, hurrying away into the darkness.
Then there was silence, and she buried her face in bloody hands.