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Saru Shang
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[Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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With the new days, Shang emerged from her tent looking a bit uncertain and listless. She threw on her clothes hastily and her hair was loosely bundled without the effort of styling it in a specific manner. Chaotic might be the word for it here. There were a few sharp gusts that flew by as she walked, giving her a slight pause here and there that was tinged with a bit of annoyance but ultimately she paid little mind to the weather.

Eventually, her walk would bring her to one of the campfires. Having seen Makime do this before, she picked up one of the logs and tossed it into the fire, albeit with little care. The fire crackled a little as it was given sustenance. No, it didn't quite make her feel better but it was a start.
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

Post by Kaijarisuigyo »

Kai dramatically dropped from a nearby tree... Wait no, she was supposed to be patrolling the slot just before, so, for once, she would simply walk in, in her combat clothes:

"Spider would say the end was the sole responsibility of the storyteller. Things just kept happening, endlessly. And then, Spider would come, and decide ‘Here. That's here this one should end so it makes sense, so it has meaning, so it has strength.’ And they would arrange the telling of events, so it seemed obvious this was the conclusion that was to be all along.

You are the storyteller here Dragon who's also Hummingbird who's also Spider who's also the Sun Lioness. Many things happened. We are clearly in the vicinity of the end. What's your expert point of view on how this one story should – will – end?"
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Saru Shang
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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Shang was normally a jumpy person but she didn't flinch so much when Kai walked in beside her and started speaking to her. It seemed that she wouldn't react for a moment, seemingly in a melancholy or fugue state. She didn't pay any mind to the other in the slightest.

It would only be after a moment she would blink and look around her surroundings, as if she was plopped back into the present. She let out a small gasp when she looked at Kai before putting a hand on her chest as if she had just startled herself. "Oh! My apologies, Kai-san. So, you were talking to me. I might have been lost in my thoughts for a moment, desperately trying to find some sense...no, I have my senses. I was looking for sensation or definition of it all."

"...As for what you said, the story. Well! It'll end when it'll end, I suppose!" She said at first before shaking her head, putting a hand on her forehead as if she was trying to fight back a migraine. "No, it'll end before it'll get too boring. You'll have to wrap everything up but not so abruptly that there will be so many questions. There will always be questions, obviously but enough to know that there is accomplishment!"
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Some questions left unanswered can even make the story better. Let the imagination of the audience run wild. Keep the story alive by having people keep wondering about could have been or could be.

Is that the secret? The right balance so that the meal is still satisfying and yet leave you hungry for more?

I was however kinda curious about how you would spin the tale of what has happened up to now, as we appear to be reaching an intermediate conclusion with this afternoon's meeting. Perhaps not the end of the whole story. But at least the end of a chapter."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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Shang rubbed her eyes in thought. "Well, we're speaking with a bit of uncertainty when there are so many tales and fables in the world. There is no certain formula to make a satisfying story. I'd like to think there would be a sure ending, not one that spells out everything afterwards but at the very least rewards the audience in knowing that their time was spent well. Of course, I come from the Dragon and I know among my peers that there isn't always an ending in everything we do. There's the idea that we can reflect ourselves in what we wish the ending will be...but try telling some of the greater audience that, I've found that isn't so receptive in most settlements in the greater Kami Empire."

She dropped her hands and let out a deep sigh. "But...you are right to say that it does feel like we're reaching the end of a chapter. This is probably the unfortunate part that I wish there were more signs about how decisions were made. Perhaps it was obvious but only if I were an actual hummingbird who was able to fly from person to person to keep an eye on them."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Oh, I think you're giving the monks too much credits. They have their criteria and their method, but they don't have the perfect knowledge of everything that also means pure madness and eternal indecision paralysis. Simply, they will do their best, with their bias, as the humans they are, and that's it.

But I also believe who get chosen is nearly as important as the act of choosing itself. Tell someone with enough conviction and decorum ‘you are Tortoise, and under your unbreakable shell your allies will find respite’ and they might indeed live to become the best defender in the land. A strong enough story makes itself true."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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Shang shook her head at something. "I didn't mean to reference the monk clan but I suppose it would seem rather easy to point the finger on their seemingly indecisive ways. At the end of the day, who knows what really lurks in the minds of a monk? But I do admit that there might be some element of theatrically that might exist in the habit, much like other roles that I'm having a hard time thinking about at the moment."

"Hm!" She perked up and nodded after a bit of consideration on Kai's words. "You are right about that, although there's a fine line between inspiration and deluding itself. Calling someone a tortoise might infuse them with inner strength to strive to be such an admirable character but you're going to find yourself without a shell to protect yourself once you take a stake to the chest! Still, I do like this advice coming from a good place. And I meant decisions of who gets to be a Thunder champion to be clear, not in general!"
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Samurai, monk, hero, everyone is playing a role in the end. The poet doesn't come into the world speaking in rhymes. One day, they just delude themselves into thinking they have a knack for it, and they slowly polish their skills until they eventually indeed can do poetry.

All great dreams start as a falsehood. But by believing they could become true, they can become true."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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Shang narrowed her eyes and tilted her head curiously. "Are great dreams falsehoods? I suppose aspirations and yearnings aren't real until they are realized. The power of belief can only get you so far. Believing a bridge will carry you across the river won't simply make that bridge appear into reality. Yes, you can put in the work and build that bridge with your own hands to make it true. However, suppose you were hoping for a bridge to take you from mountain to mountain because that river exists in the valley. You can try to build that same bridge with a whole village behind you but you'll never get there."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Somewhere in the past, there were humans who dreamed of reproducing reality on the walls of their caves. Many failed and were mocked. One succeeded and that's how painting was born.

That's the thing. All dreams begin as impossible madness. And then, one day, someone does achieve them, and suddenly they're perfectly reasonable, and it's time for even greater dreams. Nothing that is worth doing in life is not without a bit of folly.

Sometimes, folly is indeed just a jump into insanity. Sometimes, it's a first step in the right direction. And there's not really a way to know which is which before attempting it.

In the past days, I have had a lot of discussions about the many subtle shapes fear can take. To be afraid to pursue one's dream because they might be impossible is yet another one to add to the pile of the fears that are to be defeated."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Madness, falsehoods and insanity!" She exclaimed at first before letting out a small laugh. "Sorry, Kai-san. I suppose you might have caught me in a bad mood but I do agree with what you're saying, I was just prodding your further for meaning. Maybe I'm just caught up on the semantics of those words that make the act of conjuring up possibilities to be a bit unsightly. But you are right, you often have to make the first steps into the conceptual and proverbial before things are made real. I suppose it might be easy with painting when you can make it seen before it can truly seen. Then again, who knows, maybe it's a glimpse of the future in itself."

Shang turned pensive and let out a sigh. "But I suppose in a way, with Jigoku's dominance on dreams, you think that they were working with the intention to make it so that there is no future to be conjured."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"No future for us. I don't think Jigoku is nihilistic. To the contrary, it has plans, it has own tales it wants to spin, a narrative that has found successful echo so far. The sort of immortality it offers is appealing to some for example. Others might find solace in discarding the burden of free will toward an absolute force.

It always comes down to a clash of stories. Which dream is the strongest, which dream will people believe in most? The one where all is one with the darkness? Or the ones that the Kami and their followers are trying to build?"
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"There must be some really boring people in this land if they think free will is a fair trade for absolute force," she frowned. "I imagine the temptation is far greater than it sounds at the moment? Maybe my ambitions are too low to see its absolute intentions, I just can't quite fathom it! These hardships and lows we put up with in life are unfortunately just the many colours that make up the canvas of life. It's more certainly not perfect in the slightest but at least there is a dream to be built here."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Not so much boring as despaired. When you don't believe anymore in what you can do, to be relieved of the responsibility of your actions can be seen as a blessing.

That despair feeds upon itself of course, as the main reason for it is people not believing the light can prevail in the present conflict.

But its roots go deeper than that. There are people whose spirit had been broken previously, just waiting for the darkness to pick them like ripped fruits.

In the end, the metaphoric and the practical are one here. Either you have some source of light in your life. A dream, great or small. Or you are lost in the dark."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Mm, oh right, despair," she said as she frowned further. "The more insidious companion that isn't thought about. It isn't so blatant as absolute power or obscene as monstrosities that threaten to maul you. When you have nothing so much to aspire to when it comes to your dreams or the future, you don't have too many places to go. It almost seemed like this place was spared of that initially but the word of attacks seemed that it would likely find its way here eventually. Despair is in a way another sort of 'falsehood', isn't it? The falsehood of failure and if you keep conjuring it in your thoughts, it will be true."

Seeing the campfire begin to burn out, she bent down to grab another log and heft it into the fire without much grace. "Hrmph!"
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

Post by Kaijarisuigyo »

"Is that a social cue for me to help? Do I need to offer my help thrice and for you to refuse it twice before we can proceed?

Usually, I don't ask and help anyway. But I've been told to avoid loud etiquette incidents before breakfast. People need their sleep more than ever."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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"Huh?" Shang said at first when she turned to look at Kai then back at the fire.

She would look back at Kai curiously. "... You're not talking about what I did just there, right? If so, not at all, I think I can handle this just fine. I guess I could have grabbed one of the smaller chopped pieces but there's something cathartic about watching something big burn. Maybe I'll have more satisfaction trying to hew down a tree. Just something to spark something out of these muddled thoughts and break out of the prison of discontent! If that's not possible, the least I can do is try to make that actual spark happen in front of me."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

Post by Kaijarisuigyo »

"Would need a bigger fire to burn a whole tree. They burn bad with how humid they are right now. Fog and all.

Surprised no one has been trying to organize a meeting by a gigantic bonfire at night, to accommodate with the fact most of the daylight hours are already seemingly filled with meetings. I guess people gathering like that keep them warm and safe, like how penguins cling to each other all the time."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

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Shang gave Kai a few big blinks and tilted her head. "...What are pen-guins?!"

She shook her head and looked back at the fire as it burned. "But you're right it's surprising that we haven't had a gigantic bonfire at night. Nothing like a blazing inferno to frighten all animals and potential enemies away. That might have dissuaded some of the strange happenings at night. That's bound to cause some complications, undoubtedly! I'm sure the villagers would fear the potential fire hazard and I'm sure they also won't appreciate us stripping much of their woodland just to make it possible."
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Re: [Day 6 - Early Morning] Ennui

Post by Kaijarisuigyo »

"Penguins are birds Spider said they've seen when visiting the homeland of Tortoise by the sea way up in the north. Described them as small black and white things who are always clinging to each other for warmth.

I'm not certain they actually exist outside the dream. Still more likely to be based on some species of this realm than that chimeric platypus creature who's supposed to live in some island in the south."

Kai looked at the fire in the misty morning:

"Talks about making a big fire have already happened several times... And then, nothing. Starting to wonder if there's not some subtle influence of the corrupted realm here. Maybe it doesn't want for us to have any sort of comforting source of light by night, and it makes sure we quickly forget about the idea."
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