The Day of Thunder

[Nanzi Ai]

Theme music

Ai finished her duties and then took a seat in the garden, which was strange because she never favored the gardens back home. Oh sure they were beautiful but they were so manicured, so perfect that she just felt out of place there, because she was anything but. She was the sharp rock among gems and polished stones.

A stark reminder of her many transgressions of her youth to gain her mother’s attention, often negatively to elicit some kind of reaction. Often with very middling or opposite results.

But here she was green and lonely, perhaps he really was just an accident waiting to happen and be inflicted upon someone else. Certainly her sisters probably thought so when she was growing up.

[Kichi]

A monk soon appeared out of the corner of her eye, standing a generous distance away to avoid being too forward. Once he saw she had noticed, he bowed deeply. "Please excuse me, Doji-sama. I hope I am not interrupting. You seem... thoughtful."

[Nanzi Ai]

"Not at all, I was simply recording my thoughts of the day, Kichi-san, correct? You were the student of the other one... Ukyou-sensei?" she said to the man.

"I pray you are well this evening."

[Kichi]

He nodded once. "I am his student, yes. I am as well as can be. And yourself, Doji-sama?"

He gestures to the bench. "May I join you?"

[Nanzi Ai]

“Please do, Kichi-sama, I was collecting my thoughts for my nephew Hajime. I have no illusions that I may survive the trials ahead of us if this is truly the turning of the Wheel as brought to my Honored father by someone… well they are no longer with us,” she said grimly.

“Still it does not change the matter that I am prepared for give my life for the betterment of the Empire and Ningen-do, a small price in the scope of things.”

She realized she had dove headfirst into a heady topic and lightened the mood with, “Did you have a chance to enjoy the festival? Is that allowed for monks, even?”

[Kichi]

"He's lucky to have such a thoughtful aunt under such trying circumstances," he said with a nod, looking out into the garden. "Some things are worth that sacrifice. Just don't be too eager to run into danger. The world is better with you than without."

He considered the question. "I have somewhat strict vows currently as a matter of my training. I can enjoy the music and the joy around me. Food, drinks, and... level of socialization are all limited, though. I find my interest in excess limited at this point, though, so it doesn't feel like as much of an ask as it might once have."

[Nanzi Ai]

“I am the lucky one, to be his honored Aunt,” she said warmly.

“Is that normal for aspiring monks, to acclimate them to a life of asceticism?” she asked. “Did you have an interest in excess before, Kichi-san? So that leads to my next question, who were you… I would leave it alone but there is something about you.”

[Kichi]

"Some come to monkhood from a life of excess. Others have some issue with themselves they're trying to resolve. For them, strict vows can be beneficial early on, to ensure they don't stray from the path," he explained.

"Perhaps we've met. Some part of you knows that, and is looking for confirmation. I am a man who did not know what he had until he lost it. Perhaps you know someone like that?"

[Nanzi Ai]

"Some come to monkhood from a life of excess. Others have some issue with themselves they're trying to resolve. For them, strict vows can be beneficial early on, to ensure they don't stray from the path," he explained.

“And now your path brought you here, perhps one of the most dangerous places in all of Creation,” she replied.

“You live in Interesting Times, Kichi-san.”

"Perhaps we've met. Some part of you knows that, and is looking for confirmation. I am a man who did not know what he had until he lost it. Perhaps you know someone like that?"

“Confirmation,” she repeated.

“The world is filled with ten thousand faces and I have seen many of them but… I do not wish to burden you with the idea that your face matches one from my past… but yet I feel compelled.” She sighed and said, “You said you lost something, what is it that you lost and more over how did you come from that loss to the path you currently walk, assuming the two events are connected.”

“Of course I admit, I may be in error as well, I claim no great infallibility.”

[Kichi]

"Like all of us, I go where I need to be. It seems that has always been the case." He looks up at the sky. "Ukyou talks a lot about destiny, and I'm starting to understand a little bit."

"..." He takes a deep breath. "Let me tell you a story about a bird that died."

"There was once a strange bird. He grew up in a dead, twisted forest. There was no peace there, or love, or honor. It was only kill or be killed. It got into his bones, filled his head with violence and death and the desire to spread it. So he left, to try to make the sunlit gardens far away from his forest as evil as his home. He dressed himself in a cloak of feathers to hide his differences and deceived a family of doves there, filling one of their heads with promises of power and the rest with pretty lies. However, they brought him in, treated him as one of their own, and showed him love. He didn't understand that feeling - his life had been entirely empty of it, so he had no context for it. It was terrifying. He denied it, but the light and beauty of the garden ate away at him and the emotion didn't go away. He did damage anyway. He eventually made a mistake and had to flee. It was inevitable - the truth will always reveal itself."

"He hid for a while, and plotted, as his home had taught him. He went and spied on the doves. He told himself it was to get revenge... but he just wanted to see them. When he did, he saw in one of their nests a baby dove with a bit of black down, and its mother caring for it. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen - to him, the dove and her chick made Lady Sun herself look like a dim and distant star."

"There was only one conclusion for one who once knew no love being hit with it and a beauty beyond divinity. He died on the spot."

"He didn't expect to wake, but somehow, he came to awareness. When he did, a crow had picked his bones clean. All he was was a skeleton of what he had once been. The crow told him, 'Follow me and learn, and you will grow to see with new eyes, and you will grow veins that will beat new blood with a new heart.' So he did."

"He eventually did grow news eyes that could see beauty, and a new heart that could know love. But those things also showed him how he had broken and stained things of beauty, and things he had loved. He saw the damage he could do if he were near those things again. So his new eyes and heart led him to choose to be content knowing they were out there, and that they might one day recover from the damage he did."

"To paraphrase a well-worn saying, Kichi swears this is true."

[Nanzi Ai]

Ai listened intently and took in the words not to respond but to listen and understand. The man had unburdened himself of a story that had some kind of meaning. She allowed some long moments to pass in the quiet garden as she kept his gaze considering the words with all the wisdom she could muster.

Reflexively her hand fell to the blade, it comforted her but then her hands fell lightly to her sides as she spoke, “The bird was treated as one of its own because it was one of them, until it chose to not be. Such a twisted place that the bird could not understand that love and devotion are freely given.”

“Can this bird ever make amends for what it left behind? I know our group spoke yesterday of forgiveness and redemption but what do you believe, Kishi-san, can this bird find redemption?”

[Kichi]

"What you say is true. It was a twisted place, where nothing is ever freely given. All things of the forest where the bird came from came with a dire price," he said. "That does not excuse him hiding from himself, or from understanding what was in front of his face. He could have learned, but fear drove him not to see."

"Which comes back around to your other question. It depends on one's definition of redemption. In terms of balancing the scales of damage? No. It's impossible to calculate the full ramifications of what happened in a way that would let any mortal being coldly calculate balance. He could be killed, which some would consider justice, and others mere revenge. The ones who offered love and he harmed in return are the only ones with the right to choose that; but it is their right, whatever anyone else might think."

"As much as we are all beholden to the cycle of rebirth, most people would prefer to know that the person who hurt them was properly punished, rather than leave it to the universe to decide his fate."

"As to whether I believe he can find redemption... I have hope that he can free himself from the bonds of his home and do some good in the world, at least. Will he find forgiveness from the people he wronged? That's up to them. They would be justified regardless of their choice, as with whether or not to kill him."

[Nanzi Ai]

“I won’t lie, I never considered the universe as a balancing mechanism; bad things happen and such is the way of the world. That is why I follow the way of Bushido, because it gives meaning to the chaos of human misery,” she responded.

[Kichi]

"Indeed it does," he agreed. "Do you know what pure love and bushido have in common?"

[Nanzi Ai]

"Indeed it does," he agreed. "Do you know what pure love and bushido have in common?"

"I had been taught they were... at odds, honestly," she replied. "Do tell, Kichi-san."

[Kichi]

"They can be, and often are. What they have in common is that they put your focus away from yourself," he says. "They can also both give meaning to life's difficulties. The conflict comes in when it comes to who they're focused on."

He leans back and sighs, seeming placid with his eyes closed. "If your family were the birds in the garden, and you came across the strange bird, what would you do, Doji-sama? I have rambled a great deal this evening, but I would like to hear your thoughts, if you would indulge me."

[Nanzi Ai]

“The doves were delivered a most decisive and horrific blow, to have one so close to them deliver darkness into their loving home. Surely they would be well within their rights to swear oaths of vengeance,” she responded.

“In fact one such dove would make it their mission to seek out this wayward bird and bring them to justice and cleanse the shame of the Doves. How could she do anything else but such when she looks into the eyes of the little hatchling that carries those same eyes, that same earnest smile and know it was all lies and horror. The hatchling was blameless, and yet he bore the weight of such sins all the same.”

She continued, “Whispers in the dark, saying such unkind things of the hatchling, no… she would have to act to protect him and cleanse the stain. So then when the moment comes, when she is so close to her goal…”

“How will they see her if she does anything less than what she swore to do. Her hands are already stained red from all the others dragged down that dark path, this kill should be no different but, it is different.”

She finished, “Can she consider herself any better than this monster if she continues the cycle of violence and misery. Bushido demands a final and fatal accounting but Love demands answers and understanding.”

“In short the Dove is conflicted.”

[Kichi]

"If it was all lies, in his smile or in his following of Bushido, the strange bird wouldn't have been in denial," he notes. "It would have simply been successful manipulations. That doesn't change the harm done, though. To the family, and to his own hatchling, who must struggle because of him regardless of the outcome. To the dove that outshines the moon and stars."

"We mortals are complicated beings. Few things are as simple as we would prefer," he said with a sigh. "That includes the thoughts of others. They will have complicated feelings regardless of the dove's decision, because they are also complicated mortals, and they also understand love."

"For now, perhaps this is the part of such a story where the dove must think carefully about her path. Like any good story, when the moment is right, and she has firmed her resolve, the strange bird will reveal itself for judgment."

He's quiet for a moment. When he speaks again, he stares straight forward as if concentrating on something.

"If death is the price that must be paid to see and speak with one of his beloved doves again, to see them with his new eyes and new heart, then that would not be such a bad ending to the strange bird's story."

[Nanzi Ai]

Her hand rested on the pommel of her blade once more. She allowed a heartbeat of a moment before she relented and said, "You have a role to play here, you will see it through."

"My old dear friend is dead, and you are simply Kichi. Thank you for confirming this."

"The hatchling is called Hajime, and he is as beautiful as my grandmother."

[Kichi]

He nodded in assent to her. "And so, I am simply Kichi, merely the monk who had the honor of listening to your concerns, Doji-sama. If you ever had need of an ear, I would be glad to lend mine again."

He smiled as she talked about Hajime, though, looking down at his hands. "I am not surprised. I have heard from someone I once knew that his mother has her beauty, as well. For all the complexities of life, Lady Doji and Lord Nanzi's children combined the best aspects of both of them."